My Extremely Sane Reaction to Taylor Swift’s Evermore

Her new indie direction should make me seem cooler when listening to her

Taylor Swift declaring the United States will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire, Times Square, 2019. (Photo: Damon Ferrara / Billboard: Taylor Swift)

(Note: This review contains spoilers for the 2015 Yorgos Lanthimos film, The Lobster. Yes, that’s relevant to Taylor Swift.)

• As someone with professional entertainment ambitions, I should take a calm, analytical approach to analyzing the work of a major artist-
• GAAAH, COUNTRY-ROCK MURDER SONG!!! COUNTRY-ROCK MURDER SONG!!! COUNTRY-ROCK MURDER SO-
• …Sorry.
• How many songs about infidelity is Taylor Swift gonna make before Joe Alwyn gets suspicious?
• For those who waste their lives ignorant of celebrity gossip, “Joe Alwyn” is the brand name for Taylor Swift’s boyfriend. I assume he corresponds with a real person, who has other attributes beyond the ones already mentioned.
• And he’s British, if that helps.
• I know it doesn’t, but I also doubt you care enough to get annoyed at my lack of knowledge, so we’re all good here.
• Oh, and he also played the supporting role of “Samuel” in the 2018 Yorgos Lanthimos comedy-drama, The Favourite.
• Any friend of Yorgos Lanthimos is a friend of us all.
• Except for The Lobster.